I've been undergoing EMDR therapy as an attempt to manage my BDD.  EMDR therapy requires returning to the past to deal with trauma and emotions that weren't dealt with initially.  I thought hurt and pain would surface, but I'm finding that fear and terror is coming up, two emotions I am not familiar in dealing with.  Nightmares of old are starting to return, causing me cling to the Lord ever so tightly.  I need to trust that the Lord will guide me through this storm.  My assignment for today is to meditate on surrender.  Not only do I have to surrender the causes of the fear and terror, but I must surrender those emotions as they surface.  Reach out your hand to me, Lord, and I will surely take it.  Nothing but You, Jesus.  Nothing but You. 

 

I am dealing with fear at my place of work.  The fear is a known trigger of my BDD.  This fear is linked to someone in my past - someone that created terror in my life.  I am bringing up the old in order to deal with present, and, Lord, you know how difficult and trying this is.  Fight or flight?  Lord, I want to run from it, but I cannot.  I must face this once and for all and I can face it with You by my side.  You are, Jesus, my strength.  You are my fortress.  Nothing but You, Jesus.